Why schools don’t let you use microwaves

Schools say you can’t have a microwave because of liability issues—if you get burned, they could get sued. But… who gets burned by a microwave? You’re tired of eating a cold sandwich for lunch. You’re tired of watching your friends DRINK APPLE JUICE from one of THESE because it’s the only thing that tastes okay. You’re tired of feeling like there’s nothing you can change about school.

Schools don’t care about spending $30 on a microwave—they spend $15,000 per student, per year—but they’re thinking, who’s going to clean the microwave? Who is really going to be using it? Is somebody going to forget their popcorn and burn the whole building down? 

They’re not saying all that out loud: when you ask your principal for a microwave, they’re only going to say the liability thing. Here’s the easy way to prove you’re for real and get hot food.

You have three moves:

• Collect data. Your principal doesn’t realize nobody is eating your gross school lunch, and everyone wants hot food from home. COPY PASTE THIS GOOGLE FORM AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS. When you prove to the school that people aren’t eating during lunch—a BASIC HUMAN NEED—, or they only eat it because they HAVE TO and that the first thing people do after school is GO BUY A SNACK… the school will realize it messed up. Click this link to copy our pre-made google form.

• Commit to signing a waiver and getting signatures for the principal. Schools are worried about the liability issues of a kid getting burned by a microwave. Promise not to sue the school if you get burned by a microwave—come on, if you get burned by a MICROWAVE it’s probably your fault. Plus, the more students sign it, the more you’ve got a whole petition going. 

• Prove a microwave will increase attendance. Schools love increasing attendance. Type in your state here to find out if attendance literally defines how much funding a school gets. If not, attendance is always a critical part of a principal’s resume if they want a promotion and a critical part of a school’s quality evaluation, which is all your superintendent cares about.

Say to your principal: “When students know they can have hot food at school, they’re more likely to show up. Higher attendance means more funding for you and a better look for the school, and it’s only going to cost you $30.

PREPARE BACKUPS.

Ask for two microwaves, one for kids with allergies. Commit to cleaning the microwave yourself (it's on the flyer). Name a place to put them where electrical cords won’t make people trip. Show the principal the flyer you’ll put next to the microwave explaining NOT TO PUT METAL IN IT. Say that you're more than happy to sign a waiver, and remind the principal that field trips (which everyone goes on!) can be much more dangerous than microwaves.

If you're running into an obstacle, here's a classic workaround: add use of a microwave to your IEP as a functional goal. Call mom or your doctor to get this done.

If your school is *really* playing hardball and claiming they can't legally give students access to microwaves, remind them that school lunch was invented so that students could have warm meals. Denying that goes against The National School Lunch act:

As a measure of national security, to safeguard the health and well-being of the Nation’s children and to encourage the domestic consumption of nutritious agricultural commodities and other food, by assisting the States... in providing an adequate supply of food and other facilities.

When the school lunch food is no longer edible, or students aren't eating, the school has a responsibility to provide those "other facilities" as a matter of national security.

Too much? Or... just say you'll create a responsible microwaving committee, a group of students with exclusive rights to protect and operate the microwave(s) during lunch period, trustworthy student leaders and upstanding community members. Or start a microwaving club that meets during lunch, getting a teacher to vouch for you.